Last night as I was doing my blog posts, I came across a prescreening questionaire for bipolar spectrum disorder.
Check it out here
Long story short, a score of 25 or higher means there is a high probability that you have a bipolar spectrum disorder- meaning some form of bipolar...there are several.
I scored a 52.
Nuf said.
I spent the night alone, watching television. Feeling restless, I stayed up far too late. By the time I got into bed, my husband's alarm was going off for him to go to his overnight job.
I slept til 7:30 and began the fight against the self-pity that wants to take over my mind.
It was a chilly morning and although the day is almost half over I still cannot lose the achiness and chill feeling in my bones. My back aches and I feel asleep for awhile laying on the heating pad.
My son offered to take me to a neighboring townwide yard sale but I declined. I am just not up to it.
Here we go...lack of interest.
Several days ago I was gungho about the weekend. I had plans and goals. Today I just want the day to be over. I am fighting back the need to cry. My mind is swirling with everything I can possibly think of that is wrong in my life.
My car is still sitting at the shop- more than 3 weeks now...I lost count. I want it junked; my husband hasn't had time to get through to the mechanic. I just want it over and put behind me.
The money I borrowed to pay for the car is just about gone. Part of it went to pay our rent last month and little by little, it is disappearing as I try to contribute to the costs of feeding my family.
Here comes the hopelessness...I keep applying for jobs and try to remain hopeful. My husband says it isn't unusual for it to take time for someone to call. Really? It never seems to happen.
When I went for an interview last week, I was on top of the world. Confident and self-assured and not even greatly disappointed when they didn't offer me a job. I had strong confidence in myself that two days later, flipped into darkness and despair. I hate this.
Whatever this is...chronic depression, bipolar 2 or just all in my mind and not real...I am tired of not knowing what mood I am going to be in. This period may last for several more days. How ugly will it get?
I have to be strong and fight the urge to have pity parties for myself. I cannot relate to anyone how I feel. I get so down on myself that it either angers people or pushes them away. No one knows how it feels inside. The demon is trying to destroy me and I feel powerless.
Check it out here
Long story short, a score of 25 or higher means there is a high probability that you have a bipolar spectrum disorder- meaning some form of bipolar...there are several.
I scored a 52.
Nuf said.
I spent the night alone, watching television. Feeling restless, I stayed up far too late. By the time I got into bed, my husband's alarm was going off for him to go to his overnight job.
I slept til 7:30 and began the fight against the self-pity that wants to take over my mind.
It was a chilly morning and although the day is almost half over I still cannot lose the achiness and chill feeling in my bones. My back aches and I feel asleep for awhile laying on the heating pad.
My son offered to take me to a neighboring townwide yard sale but I declined. I am just not up to it.
Here we go...lack of interest.
Several days ago I was gungho about the weekend. I had plans and goals. Today I just want the day to be over. I am fighting back the need to cry. My mind is swirling with everything I can possibly think of that is wrong in my life.
My car is still sitting at the shop- more than 3 weeks now...I lost count. I want it junked; my husband hasn't had time to get through to the mechanic. I just want it over and put behind me.
The money I borrowed to pay for the car is just about gone. Part of it went to pay our rent last month and little by little, it is disappearing as I try to contribute to the costs of feeding my family.
Here comes the hopelessness...I keep applying for jobs and try to remain hopeful. My husband says it isn't unusual for it to take time for someone to call. Really? It never seems to happen.
When I went for an interview last week, I was on top of the world. Confident and self-assured and not even greatly disappointed when they didn't offer me a job. I had strong confidence in myself that two days later, flipped into darkness and despair. I hate this.
Whatever this is...chronic depression, bipolar 2 or just all in my mind and not real...I am tired of not knowing what mood I am going to be in. This period may last for several more days. How ugly will it get?
I have to be strong and fight the urge to have pity parties for myself. I cannot relate to anyone how I feel. I get so down on myself that it either angers people or pushes them away. No one knows how it feels inside. The demon is trying to destroy me and I feel powerless.
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